The Little Voice
by Anrixan
Summary: A little voice haunts Tidus to the point of a deadly mistake...
1. Prologue

**I wasn't going to post this yet, (I've had it written forquite some time) but as I talked on the phone with TheCalligrapher1 for a while today, I had the desire to do so. The rest won't be posted for a while...and I'm sorry this is so short. This fic will be dark...as you will see from this prologue. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it...and I hope to start hardcore writing on it for a while. **

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**Prologue**

I didn't know what had happened. It all happened too quickly. I saw what occurred, but I had completely lost control of the situation. It was like I saw myself in third person point of view and I couldn't tell myself to stop. It was my voice, my motions, my laughter…but I wasn't moving myself. I wasn't speaking. I definitely wasn't laughing. I don't know how it happened.

As I thought about what happened, a shudder went through my spine and I broke out into goosebumps. I almost dropped my daughter who was sitting on my lap. For the past hour that we were sitting in the Bevelle Temple, she was looking up at me, eyes wide, wondering why her daddy had been crying nonstop for three days. She didn't understand the situation and I didn't really expect her to. She was only four years old. Over the past few days, she asked me numerous times, "Daddy? Are you okay?" What do you tell a child when she asks you that but sugarcoat the truth? "No, but daddy will be fine." Will I be fine?

A lilting piece was being played on the grand organ that was on one side of the room, accompanying a choir. The piece had a frightening resemblance to the Hymn of the Fayth, but I knew it wasn't because this was not the time of Yevon anymore. To play something of Yevon would be considered sacrilege. The temple staff asked me what I wanted to have playing and I told them that this would be fine. It was a piece that she always used to hum, so I figured she would want it played.

Thousands of beautiful flowers decorated the church, many of which were gifts from the people of Spira. The temple looked absolutely beautiful and I would be lying if I said I expected otherwise. White satin, flowers, and candles surrounded the altar and everything just brought tears to my eyes. The preparations only took three days, but the guilt would last a lifetime.

Most of the people who sent the gifts came as well. I'm not sure how the Bevelle Temple was able to fit so many people, but many of them had to stand anyway. The ones who weren't dabbing their eyes to dry the tears were shooting dagger gazes at me. I knew what they were thinking. If I were them, I would be thinking the same thing. They all kept their comments to themselves and I was thankful for that.

I heard Rikku sniffle next to me and I turned to look at her. Her head was resting on Gippal's shoulder as she cried, a black handkerchief in her hand. Her eyes were red from a mixture of crying and exhaustion from the past few days. The poor girl looked terrible and I'm assuming that I looked the same. Between the two of us, I would be surprised if we got 2 hours of sleep over the past few days. I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in over a week. No, make that more like the last five or six months.

Yes, that's right. It all started about six months ago; the constant nightmares, the out of body experiences, the weird occurrences. I'm not sure how they happened, but I wish I could go back to that one night and change it all. However, the more I think about it, would I be able to change anything? Would I be able to seize control of the situation and change it?

Impossible. There's no way to change what had happened. I was there. If I could've changed the outcome, I would've been able to. What's done is done. I'm the one to blame.

I was the one who killed my own wife.


	2. Part One: Chapter One

**Apparently, it has been forever since I have updated this fic. I wanted to finish Dangerous Game before I worked on this one some more, but I am suffering from extreme writer's block in that fic. Oh well, it'll be cured eventually. However, this fic I have quite a few ideas for, and this chapter has been done for MONTHS, so I decided that I would just post it. I do like it a lot... I love writing for Tidus. So yes, this is the beginning of Part One, as it says below. Hopefully it won't take me as long to update the next chapters, again, I apologize. **

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**Part One**

**Chapter One**

**_Six Months Earlier_**

"Are you really going to have to be that late?" The sound in Yuna's voice broke my heart.

I moved my sphere cell from one ear to the other as I leaned against the side of a cliff. "Yes, honey, I'm really sorry, but there's no way that I'm going to be able to make it home on time. I tried to explain things to Beclem, but you know how that went. It was like talking to a brick wall." Ever since my daughter was born four years ago, I resigned from my position as the Besaid Auroch's blitzball coach. I just didn't have time anymore; I had to spend more time with my growing family. Of course, this wasn't exactly a good thing because every new coach only lasted one season, and they progressively got worse. Beclem was the worst yet. He was practically a slave driver to all of us and still made me do basically everything because I was the team's captain. The thing he did the most was randomly call us to have 'emergency practice' at the strangest times. So much for spending time with my family.

Today was the worst possible time to have a surprise practice though; it was the day of Yuna and my 5th wedding anniversary. I had the whole night planned out for about a month now, and Beclem refused to let me leave rehearsal early. He literally laughed in my face. Botta told me that he used to be in the Youth League or something like that and even tried to burn down the Besaid Temple a while ago. What a shock.

Yuna sighed heavily and I didn't have to see her to know how she was sitting. She was sitting on the couch, legs crossed, chin in hand, and her elbow resting on her knee. It was the way she always sat when she was upset and thinking. "So, do you want me to see if I can change the reservation time? You told me that they're at six, but I can see if they can bump it back to seven or eight."

That was the last thing I wanted her to do. I wanted the night to be a complete surprise, and if I told where our reservations were, that would ruin it all. Well, maybe not the entire night, but it would ruin part of the surprise. "No, don't worry about it, I'll call."

"Tidus, I don't want you to get in trouble," she said, her voice still devastated. "Besides, if you call, that'll only take up more time."

As if on cue, I heard Beclem yell, "Tidus! Get your ass back here!"

"Well, okay, I guess I'll let you do that before Beclem has a behemoth over there," I said with a scoff, holding up a finger to nonverbally tell Beclem to wait a minute. He scowled at me, but I rolled it off my shoulders.

"Mommy, mommy, who are you talkin' to?" I could hear our daughter's voice from the other line. Yuna told her it was me, so she squealed and took the phone. "Hi, daddy! I love you!"

"I love you too, honey," I said with a smile. By the way she talked up a storm, you would never figure that she didn't say her first word until she was over a year old. Yuna and I were actually quite worried for a while, but when she began talking, she caught on very quickly and we figured that there was no need to be concerned. "I need to talk to mommy though…"

Before I could finish, she interrupted me. "Daddy, I drew you a picture today in school and I want to show it to you! You need to come home right away so I can give it to you!"

"I'll be home as soon as I can, but I need to talk to mommy, so can you give the phone back to her?"

"Oh, okay," she sounded disappointed, but with a sigh, she said goodbye and handed the phone back to Yuna.

"Oh boy, she just rushed upstairs," Yuna said with a chuckle. "Look out, Besaid, here comes Hurricane Ariana."

Before I could say anything, I saw Beclem out of the corner of my eye growing more and more impatient. If I didn't know any better, it looked like he was about to have a temper tantrum. I've seen that look on Ari's face more than once, and a high pitched scream usually came after it. I inhaled deeply before exhaling my breath in small puffs. "I really gotta go though, so call up the Golden Staff and see if you can change our reservations."

"The Golden Staff? I haven't been there since I was pregnant!" She sounded impressed, but I was still disappointed that I told her. "Oh, Tidus!"

"Yep, I knew you liked the place." I caught the blitzball that was flying toward my head, courtesy of Beclem who was standing at the water's edge with his hands on his hips. I was an inch away from decking him.

"Very well, I'll call up Lulu and Wakka and see if they can take care of Ari a little earlier than planned so I can call and everything without interruptions," she explained with a chuckle.

I chuckled back because I knew that Ari was a handful. She was a very good kid, but now that she just got home from school, she was going to talk Yuna's ear off about everything that she that day. That included a detailed play by play of every minute. Yuna knew that if she was going to make a phone call, she wouldn't be able to do it while our daughter was there. "Okay, you do that. I love you."

"I love you too! Bye!"

After saying 'goodbye' back, I hung up my phone, put it on the nearest bench and walked back to the ocean, where practice was being held. Everyone was standing on the beach area now, clearly ordered by Beclem to watch me as I walked back to them.

"I'm sorry that this is cutting into your social time, Tidus," Beclem snapped, reaching his hand out for the ball that he threw at me earlier. I handed it to him nicely, even though I wanted to throw it at his head. Unlike him, _I_ wouldn't have missed or given him the opportunity to catch it.

"Give him a break, ya?" Jassu said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I appreciated him standing up for me, but I knew it would get us all into trouble instead of just myself. "It's the man's wedding anniversary."

"So I've heard," Beclem retorted, not enthused or feeling at all sympathetic. Shooting a glare at me, he rested the ball on his hips. "I don't care if she's the High Summoner, Tidus, you know damn well that you're not supposed to use your cell during practice."

With a scoff, I threw back sarcastically, "_Excuse me_. Is it my fault that you decided to have practice for the sixth time this week – and it is only Friday, mind you – and I needed to take five minutes to make one phone call?"

"That's five minutes too long," he said, causing me to narrow my eyes at him in annoyance. Looking at the rest of the team, he continued with, "Due to Tidus' little conversation that took five precious minutes from our practice, I'm going to add on another ten. Now, also courtesy of your captain, do laps."

I scoffed at him again and folded my arms across my chest. "In case you haven't realized this, we _are _already warmed up and we don't need a childish form of punishment like doing laps or pushups. We're not in high school"

He walked closer to me, and as he looked me straight in the eye, shoved the ball in my hands. "Do you want to go out with your wife tonight or not?" I gritted my teeth so I wouldn't say anything back. Once he noticed that I was going to remain silent, he said, "Laps. Now."

"How many do you want, _Coach?_" I asked, mockery in my voice. He noticed that too.

"I don't recall saying, _Captain,_" he snapped back and motioned toward the water. Reluctantly, the five of us Aurochs walked to the ocean and began swimming around. It was definitely times like these when I regretted my resignation.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Three hours later, practice was finally over and I was able to go home. Of course, it was now approximately 7 o' clock and getting dark; which was probably the only reason why Beclem called practice to a close in the first place. I don't know how we all managed to stay swimming after the five hours of grueling practice. It was obvious how tired we were because we couldn't even catch the ball from a three foot distance anymore. Beclem, of course, didn't have to worry about exhaustion because all he did was stand at the ocean's edge and shout at us to 'catch the damn ball.'

When I reached home, I opened the door and almost tripped over a pair of Ari's pink sandals. I managed to catch myself, and the noise caused Yuna to run to the front door. "Tidus, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as I turned to face her. I was speechless when I saw her and she blushed from my stare. She was all dressed up to kill, and I was still sopping wet from practice so I didn't want to hug her. Instead, I bent over and kissed her on the lips, being careful not to drip on her. "You look stunning."

"Thank you," she replied, gently touching the sides of her dress and smoothing the material over her hips. It was a simple, black dress that was formfitting and stopped right above her knees. "Is it too short?"

"Not at all," I said with a gentle smile as I kicked off my shoes. "What time were you able to change our reservations to?"

She looked at the watch on her wrist and smiled. "They told me I could've changed it to seven or nine, so I said nine would work better. I'm so glad I did. It's going to take us at least a half hour to get to Luca, so you better hurry up and shower."

"What's the matter, I don't look dressed up enough?" She looked at my pants and white shirt and shook her head. With a chuckle, I said, "'Kay, just checking."

We started to walk upstairs and she picked up a few of Ari's toys on the way that were on the floor. "I had this place spotless before she got home. You would think that she owns the place."

"Wakka and Lulu are taking care of her for the night?" I asked as I took off my shirt. She nodded and I smiled. "Oh, that makes me happy."

"Yeah, it's the first time that we've been without her in a while though," she said, disappearing into the bathroom. She came out with a towel and handed it to me, gesturing to the ground with a flick of her wrist. "You're getting the carpeting wet." I apologized and she continued. "She seemed excited to spend the night with Vidina and Lily when I told her about it, so now I doubt if she'll want to come back home."

I chuckled as I began to dry my hair with the towel. "Well, that's not all that bad, is it? It _has _been a while since you and I have been alone…"

"What is on your mind, sir?" She asked playfully. I could see a smirk appear on her face as I saw her reflection in the mirror that was in front of me. I innocently shrugged, and she said, "I'm sure I know what you're thinking."

"Probably," I said, giving her a kiss. "All right, I'll be in the shower though. I might need to make it a cold one."

"If I wasn't already dressed and ready, I'd say I'd join you, but…" She trailed off and looked down at her dress. Adverting her gaze back up to me, she noted the intrigued smile on my face and shrugged. "Maybe later? I'll wait downstairs." With that, she gently gave my shoulder a pat before leaving the room.

I stood in my spot for a second and simply watched her leave, then chuckled. "What a woman," I muttered before walking to the bathroom for my shower.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

After my shower, I dried off, put on clothes, then finished my look by tying my tie. I was in a suit that Yuna bought me earlier in the year, and I bought the shirt myself the previous week specifically for our anniversary dinner. I quickly sprayed on some cologne, then walked downstairs to tell Yuna that we could leave. I saw that she was in kitchen, standing up and reading the newspaper so I walked up behind her and put my hands on her hips.

She jumped and whipped her head around to see me. "You scared me!" I kissed her gently on the cheek, then she inhaled. With a sly smile, she faced me and started to sniff my jacket. "Didn't I buy you this cologne?"

"Yes, you did," I informed her, her smile widening.

"I like it!" She continued to sniff me, so I chuckled before putting my hands on her shoulders to back her away a little bit. She giggled as I kissed her again. "Are you ready?"

"Mmm hmm," I replied as I put my hand into my pocket and pulled out a small box. "But not until I give you this."

"For me?" She asked innocently as she looked at the box.

"Of course," I replied with a kiss on her neck. I'm surprised she didn't comment about the wrapping job, because it was obvious that I didn't do it myself. I couldn't wrap a present if my life depended on it, so I had it professionally done. She carefully removed the ribbon and opened the box, exhaling when she saw what it was. "You like it?"

"Like? I…I more than like. I love. It's beautiful." She took out the diamond necklace and handed it to me. "Can you put it on me?"

I had to take off her other necklace first, then I put on her new one. I saw it at one of Oaka's stores on my anniversary present hunt, the first store I went to actually. He just happened to be at the store I was at and informed me that it was 'top o' the line and new,' so I had to buy it. There was something in it that made me think of her and I didn't even need to think twice. She touched it with her fingers and smiled gently. "I was hoping that it wasn't going to be too long."

"It's perfect! Thank you!" She flung her arms around me and I lifted her off the ground. "Well, I guess that means I can give you your present now as well."

"You didn't go over your limit, did you?" She and I had a constant joke about a 'limit.' Of course, I always went over mine and I think she did hers, but it's okay.

With a chuckle, she walked to the counter to grab the present that was sitting there. Handing it to me, she said, "I got a little carried away with the ribbon, it looks pretty and at least I wrapped it myself."

"I knew you would mention something about that," I said with a smirk, turning the present around in my hands as carefully as I could without squishing the three tons of curling ribbon that was on it. "But yes, it looks very pretty." Opening the present was a task and a half, so Yuna had to actually get out the scissors to cut the ribbon off. After I could see the original color of the wrapping paper –and getting a light smack on the shoulder with an amused, "tch, Tidus…" for announcing that—I tore off the paper and opened the box. I was silent for a second as I stared at what was inside, then looked up at my wife with a boyish grin. "Yuna…" It was the pocket watch that I had my heart set on for the last few weeks.

"Open it up," she said, bouncing on her toes with excitement.

Closing my mouth, I ran my finger over the lid and opened it up. The face was a beautiful blue, the hands white, and instead of numbers, there were small diamonds. I couldn't express my happiness well enough, it was amazing. Plus I knew how much it cost. The price alone was what actually stopped me from buying it the first time I saw it. I turned to her and said, "I know you went over your limit."

"Ha, I know." She fingered the necklace around her neck and added, "So did you, mister."

Wrapping her into a hug, I kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thank you." She responded with another kiss, then I said, "Well, according to my new watch, it is 8:15. We should get going if we're to make our reservations." With a brief nod, I handed her her coat and led the way to the door.


End file.
